A Little Bitter Breakfast

My husband & I have long had a, breakfast out on Wednesdays, tradition.  Last week was no different.  The only real difference is our location.  We are renovating our Kelowna home, at present, so we are nestled into a lovely little basement suite in Calgary.  Our mainstay breakfast spot, here, is the Galaxie Diner.  Quaint & small, to say the least, with an open cooking grill, counter & small booth seating only.  It is the other half of my party that really loves this little joint, but I happily partake in the morning out that ensues.

However, our latest Galaxie experience was somewhat tainted by the lovely ladies seated directly across from, & in very close proximity to, us.  Af first, I was ogling over the cadence & lovely Latin accents they shared back & forth.  I was, therefore, prepared to endure the unintended volume with which they spoke.  My lovely Kalamata Scramble soon lost lustre, though, when the animated conversation turned unsavory.  It was not that the language became offensive, at least not to me.  They quickly changed to speaking in Spanish when the tone darkened.  It was, however, the damp bitterness of their topic that unintentionally drew me in.  And topically, I was uninterested as well.  It was the bitterness that affected me...I was not offended by it...it saddened me...

As is always the structure of bitterness, in conversation, it darkens the mood of even the most positive soul in its midst.  Of these two gals, one was by far the leader in the area of bitterness.  The other, with even a smattering of hope & encouragement would have risen up out of her funk, I am certain!  I guess I know all of this, for sure because I have worn the cloak of bitterness & was so very close to buttoning up right to the collar, in its seeming warmth & reassurance.

Bitterness develops out of many circumstances, relationships &/or hardships.  Mine came out of a crisis of faith.  After believing that I had been a Christian all of my life, I was told, with certainty,  that I was not one by none other than the husband of a very dear friend of mine.  This, shortly after a 'head-on conversion,' in their case.  By no standard did I want to believe him & furthermore I wanted him proved wrong in the face of any or everyone that I encountered.  I know God works in mysterious ways, but this was a very soul-crushing & lost time of life for me.  Bitterness didn't move herself in overnight, she came in slowly unpacking her baggage & leaving it laying around all over my heart & even dishevelling my countenance.  She is greedy & is never happy messing with one soul, at a time.  She always takes at least two with her.  I was definitely taking my husband down this slippery, & narrow slope with me.

Just when, to every status-quo Christian in my path, I would have seemed a complete write-off, my 'smattering of hope & encouragement' came.  I was invited to a Women's Retreat at Manitou Resort, through a friend.  (I honestly didn't know what I was getting into.  I thought maybe scantily clad firefighters were going to be auctioned off at the dinner)  But, I went.  No firefighters in sight, just the humble & simple truth of the old story that I knew so well.  The redemptive love of a Saviour that came & died on a cross for my sins.  He had been there walking alongside me & bitterness all the while.  I just needed time for the heartache & the pain to become real enough that the fragile shell of my humanity cracked.  Christ only needs a crack to break through & He can soften the hardest of hearts & heal a lifetime of pain - or 2 years worth, in my case... This whole retreat experience is a blog unto itself that I will most whole-heartedly share another day.

I don't know if I was a Christian, at the time of my unfortunate encounter or not.  The truth is that it no longer matters.  I do know that I now shape my world around my faith in Christ and that has made all the difference.  And "Bitter" is no longer welcome here.  She has long since packed her things & moved completely out.  I know that she continues to set up shop in any corner where a fragment of hurt & doubt can be turned her way.

Tomorrow is Wednesday.  Breakfast day again... I pray it does not leave a 'bitter' taste in my mouth...

Casserole Craving Complete - March 21

Maybe it's because this Calgary winter has been dragging on incessantly...or maybe because we have been cutting back on carbs...or maybe nothing more than a simple craving -but- I have been longing for an old-school lasagne, to the point, where today, it became unbearable.  I caved in & made this version of which I am quite proud & deliciously satisfied!!

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

6 whole wheat lasagne noodles
Immerse the noodles in water in a small glass cake pan & cook on high in microwave for 10 mins.  Cool slightly

2 small zucchini (very thinly sliced with a sharp knife or on a mandoline)
Place on 2 parchment-lined cookie sheets.  Brush each side of zuch, lightly, with EVOO & season with salt, pepper & a little Herbamare (this seasoning can be found in the spice section of your grocery store's natural food section)  It is great on veggies!!  Roast in preheated oven for 7-10 mins.  Turn oven off & leave zuch in heated oven until you are ready for assembly.  Keep an eye on them & remove if they are getting too dried out.

1 small white onion,  diced
1 lb. ground chicken
2 cloves garlic, minced (I like to use my best-loved microplane for garlic)
Heat a sauté pan over med high heat.  Add 2 turns of EVOO.  Start with chopped onion in pan, then add ground chicken & garlic.  Heat until cooked through.  Season with a pinch of salt & pepper. 

1 large can San Marzano tomatoes (run a sharp knife thru the tomatoes while still in the tin)
1 13 oz. can tomato paste
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp dried basil
1 bay leaf (DO NOT forget to remove before layering sauce into casserole!)
Add all ingredients into the chicken mixture.  Heat & stir until the sauce comes together & starts to boil.  Reduce heat to low & let simmer for as long as you can - up to 2 hours

While sauce is simmering, mix together:
1 box chopped, frozen spinach, thawed (you can thaw in microwave. Then, place in a thin, clean, tea towel over sink & wring out, in the towel, until the moisture is completely out)
1/2 C cottage cheese
1/2 C ricotta cheese
1/4 C feta cheese, crumbled
2 tbsp grated parmesan
2 tsp dried parsley
1 egg
pinch of salt & pepper

For assembly:
Grated marble or Tex Mex cheese - 2 to 3 cups
Grated parmesan cheese

Spray a 9 X 13 glass cake pan with cooking spray

Reset oven to 350 degrees

Starting with a little sauce, assemble your lasagne

• 3 noodles
• 1/3 of remaining sauce
• spinach/cheese mixture - use all
• sprinkle lightly with cheddar & parm
• zuch slices
• 1/2 of remaining sauce
• sprinkle of cheeses
• 3 noodles
• last of sauce
• generous topping of shredded cheese

Bake in 350 oven for 45 minutes.  Set out on a cooling rack & let cool for 10 mins (you will be tempted to dive right in, but this step is very important for being able to cut into squares that stay formed)

Serve alongside some tossed or caesar salad, a crisp glass of Okanagan Riesling & believe that spring has sprung!! 

On Being Mary - March 9

Yesterday, being International Women's Day, I reflected like all others, on the many roles that women play in society.  Whether these roles are equitable, whether women are taken advantage of, whether certain cultures of women are even treated fairly within their own gender... I distinctly remember my own feelings of decreased value, as a woman, when I decided to quit working, & stay home full time, to raise our eldest son. Feelings that I matured out of & decisions that I value having made now.

Today, in my time of reflection, I was reading Matthew 28.  This is the Bible passage where 2 'Marys,' Mary Magdalene & another, were going to the tomb of Christ.  There, they encountered an angel who told them that Jesus was risen.  They would not find his body at the tomb.  They were instructed to go & tell this shocking, but Good News, to his disciples.

In our previous church, & many years ago, I'm sad to say, I did dramatizations of many of the Bible's Marys.  When I read of the above encounter, I clearly remembered playing this Mary in an Easter drama.  I can remember the trepidation, in the character, of her having to go & tell the men what she had witnessed.  In a time, when a woman's word would definitely not be widely accepted or appreciated.  Today, sitting here pondering, on my sofa, I thought of how many times I have been this Mary.  Times when I have had to share the news...the often unwelcome, sad or hard to believe truth.  I, once, had to share with a friend, that her boyfriend was being unfaithful to her.  Had to being the operative words here.  Being a Mary was definitely not the easy thing.  The easy thing would have been to act like I knew nothing, to say nothing & possibly let that unhealthy relationship carry on for who knows how long.  Was it the popular vote, did she appreciate my candidness, at the time, or even want to believe me? Certainly not - I was definitely a Matthew 28 Mary!

Another time, I played the Mary who washed Jesus' feet, in tears, with her hair.  Luke 7: 36-50  I won't get into the controversy of whether this was Mary Magdalene or not.  All of the actors, in this play, were behind a white drop sheet & backlit so that you could only see our shadows.  We re-enacted the scene while a narrator carried the script.  We got a good review, from the congregation, saying it had been a powerful narrative, on the story.  What I remember was the gritty realness, of the portrayal, for me.  The feet, of the other actor, were very real...gnarled, hairy toes, skin callused, cracked & dry.  I dipped my wig into the basin, in front of me, & washed those feet.  The feet that could have been very much like the actual feet of our Saviour.  Many times, life calls us to be this Mary.  The rubber to the road Mary who has to just buckle down & do the job, regardless of its nature.  Life shows up, with no reluctance, with these jobs.  Waiting for test results, tending to broken bones & hearts, failed exams, punishing schedules, funeral arrangements, bedsides of the sick, car accidents, birth & death...  Like Mary, you drop your hair, you dip into the pool of whatever resources you have, & you begin the task before you, however unsavory...

And yet another time, I played Mary, the mother of Christ, as she could be imagined in every stage of His life.  In every stage, this Mary looks different.  Not much is recorded of Christ, as a child, but as a young boy of 12, he went missing, only to be found days later, in the temple.  Luke 2: 41-52  Imagine a mother's grief & tension over not knowing where her young son is.  Or watching the ridicule, as he aged & began his ministry, where many did not believe.  And as we all know the story's end, watching his final & unbearable end, crucified at Calvary.  As a young Mom, it's the sleepless nights, the sick baby, the endless monotony of redundant tasks...as an older Mom, it's the nights fraught with worry til the door opens & closes signalling your child is home safe, the broken hearts you cannot bandage, the mistakes you have to watch being made.  And finally, the release...letting the child go to make their own way in the world.  The Mary in you wants to hold on for dear life, to say, "Stay, please stay - you have no idea what is waiting for you out there...hardship, heartache, sorrow, joy, love & pleasure...all beyond your wildest dreams..." But you let go, like the Mary of old, with hope...wild, fierce hope...for all that is to come.

So, I salute all my fellow Marys.  All the women who have come along & walked beside me, challenged me, loved me when I was least loveable, listened, laughed, cried & hoped.  May Women's Day be every day as we share in celebration of our oneness & comradery.  God Bless! 

A Very Martian Christmas 2017 - March 7

Over three months since I would have sat down to pen this letter, I finally undertake the task.  To be honest, I have had the letter written, in my journal, since the beginning of December.  But, as you will soon see, I was almost stuck on Mars...

A VERY MARTIAN CHRISTMAS 2017

Before I even begin, I will disclaim that if you have not seen the movie, The Martian, you may wonder about my well-being, in this letter...fear not - I am only ordinarily unstable as ever... :) Watch the Martian - it is worth your time!

Early on in 2017, Darrell & I re-watched the movie, The Martian.  I am certainly not one to base my life's inspiration on the laurels of movie writers, even if they are epic.  However, many times, in the past months, the crumbs I have followed, through the twisting trail of life, were bits & pieces left by 'The Martian.'  Somehow Andy Weir, Drew Goddard & Matt Damon reminded me to "just begin." Their quotes came to mind & inspired me onward!

Quote: "At some point, everything's gonna go south on you...now, you can either accept that or you can get to work.  That's all it is.  YOU JUST BEGIN.   You do the math (they almost lost me here - I hate math!) You solve one problem...& you solve the next one...& then the next.  And if you solve enough problems, you get to come home."

ON JUST BEGINNING:  This quote reminds me a lot of home renovations!  If you ever stop & take a look at the whole project, you could get to feeling stuck, overwhelmed...alone on Mars...  -but- the minute you 'just begin' redoing one carpet, painting one wall, fixing one bathroom...you've started turning that whole project into one manageable job at a time.  It's certain that you will almost 'blow yourself up,' in your own Martian way, during the process.  Contractors will fail you, do-overs happen, wrong sizes are ordered, toilet tanks break, tiles are crooked... -but- you solve enough problems & complete enough projects & pretty soon that first fixer upper, you bought, is a home!! 

Congrats, Jovi & Alexis, on such an awesome year of home renos!!

Quote:  "It has been seven days since I ran out of ketchup...!"

ON RUNNING OUT OF KETCHUP:   I guess this quote stuck to me partially & simply because I love ketchup.  Only recently, however, have I discovered how much sugar is in it.  Drat!!  But, moreover, we are always going to run out of ketchup.  The thing that makes that 'good moment' a 'complete moment' will always be a challenge!  The wedding will be picture perfect! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll reach down & touch all your emotions -but- the wind coming across the water, blowing in on you & your guests, will be frigid!  The lack of ketchup will try to squelch your whole wonderful experience!  NO WAY!!  Be a martian!  Sit on the bench, cuddle close to your loved ones & drink in the most beautiful, emotionally-authentic, heart-warming & perfect wedding ceremony ever!! 

Congrats, Lew & Jenny on your marriage October 14, 2017!!

Quote:  "It's been 48 sols since I planted the potatoes, (in poop!!)  So now it's time to reap and re-sow.  They grew even better than I expected!"

ON PLANTING POTATOES IN POO:  On our worst day...we are not alone, alone on Mars to boot, trying to plant potatoes in poo!  You may have just moved to Toronto, barely started a brand new job & found an apartment that you haven't even moved into, only to fully rupture your patella, playing basketball for fun... :(  You now need surgery, different casts, leg braces, crutches & several months of physio... -but- you remembered that you are a Martian, you called NASA & they sent their very best & capable help...your Mom!!! We 'scienced the heck' out of that knee, with the help of some of Toronto's finest medical folks & you are ahead of schedule in your recovery!!  

Congrats, Anson!! You are long since on your way 'back home' to a complete recovery!  And you didn't let your 'potatoes in poo' moment slow you down.  We look forward, with you, to all this New Year has in store!!

Quote:  "Do you believe in God Vincent?  Yeah, yeah...my father was a Hindu, my mother's a Baptist, so yeah, I believe in several..."

ON BELIEVING:  This one, of course, popped right out at me.  Vincent recounted what his parents believed.  But, what did he believe??  I am not perfectly faithful day to day.  -but- I have decided for myself on what I believe.  And, when I'm stuck on Mars, in my life, I'm awfully glad to have the God of the universe there with me!!  By that, I mean the creator of heaven & earth, the one born of the virgin Mary, who suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died & was buried, who rose again & is now in the heavenly realms, who will come again to judge the living & the dead---that guy!!

Quote:  Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly!!"

ON WHY WE FLY:  This is a NASA analogy, of course, but it applies to all of us, when life throws curve balls, foul balls & even when we are "hit by pitch."  Why are we surprised?  We aren't here just for the home runs, for the sunshine & happiness.  We are hard-wired for the strike-outs, for the storms! I forget 'why I fly' all of the time...in fact, pretty much every time life gets tough, I forget.  You could say I have difficultimers, [noun - the inability to remember that hardship, in life, is predictable, if not certain, & that lack of awareness that suggests you have been here before, resulting in shock or disbelief]  Take that Websters!!   

I imagine some of you have felt 'stuck on Mars' in your life, in the past year, as well.  Unfortunately, I suspect we all have our 'Martian' moments.  I hope Christmas was a good gathering of friends & family, for you all, & that 2018 has begun to reveal her charms kindly & gently.  I know, for many, in my own family, she has already proved herself to be very harsh & unkind.  Forget about her & try to wrap yourself in 'believing' with the strength you have.  You know who you are.  And our continued & constant prayers & loving thoughts are with you...

Join me, if you will this (almost) New Year as I try to remember: 

• why we fly
• that we all run out of ketchup
• to have faith
• on our worst day, we are not planting potatoes in poo

Take heart friends & fam...take heart!!

  

So This Happened Today - the beginning...

So, I spent the better part of this wintry morning fighting with my computer, trying to create, what I thought, would be a better & more professional-looking blogspot.  Joke's on me because here I am right back where I started.  Watch for a new look, coming your way soon.  I will hire the professionals to get the job done.

Lately, I have returned to some of my old habits...some of the better ones, in fact.  I have been taking a little time for myself, exercising more & spending some time reading this book each day. I have even been writing & journalling some of my thoughts.  This was the conduit in trying to establish a new site.  I thought Regoneverything was a bit too broad spectrum for where I wanted to go with this little experiment.  I even created a new website called, 'So This Happened Today' to share some of my insights.  However, it was so antiquated, to complete a post, I ended up right back here where I can type away with simplicity.

When I returned to a more regular cycle of taking some devotional time, in the mornings, I picked up this Bible to accompany my journey.  Maybe because I unearthed it in the throws of packing, maybe because it was my Mom's & there is something so comforting about that or possibly because of the large-print format.  The large print is laxative to my ever deteriorating close-range vision.

It is not a version I am used to (The Living Bible paraphrased.)  I find small segments of old stories coming off the page to me.  I am intrigued by the markings left by my mother & I have a deep longing to ask her about all of them.  Markings, so sadly, left for my own interpretation now...  But, it is the words from this old book & the devotional leadings of Shauna Niequist that have inspired me to share some of my daily thoughts & queries.

I hope to season my ramblings with a little humor, refresh you with transparency, & inspire you with the divine.  I want to leave you with an honest recording of my daily insights.  I have long kept this idea filling the pages of journals, in fear.  Fear of telling a story that would offend someone in doing so.  Someone, who innocently walked into my life & suddenly became part of the page, not unlike a past -lover in a Taylor Swift song.  I feel braver now & confident enough to weave my own words of sincerity & not directly link those I encounter! 

Welcome to ... So This Happened Today ... !!